


Vegetables

by Authorexx



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Family, Fluff, Gen, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:01:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29780670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Authorexx/pseuds/Authorexx
Summary: A thirteen year old Eli teaches his father about emojis.
Relationships: Elliot Stabler/Kathy Stabler
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	Vegetables

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Chris Meloni’s discovery of “instie stories.” I imagine Elliot is a bit of a luddite, so I wanted to write something fun about that. Also, this is set in 2021, pre-Organized Crime! Enjoy the silliness. -Ax

On the way home from school, Elliot Stabler’s cell phone was blowing up, ringing almost incessantly with each text.“Eli—can you get my phone?Your mother’s texting me.”

“Yeah, sure,” Eli said, plucking the phone from its place in the center console and opening it to the flurry of texts from his mother.

“I don’t see why she doesn’t just call me,” Elliot grumbled, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel, “she can say everything she needs to over the phone.”

“Because texting is easier, dad,” Eli replied, rolling his eyes out of his father’s view.

“What about it is so easy? I’d rather call somebody.”Elliot shrugged, shaking his head.“Anyway, what’s she saying?”

“She’s asking about dinner,” Eli said, “I think she’s getting groceries.”

Elliot pursed his lips and nodded.“Tell her whatever’s on sale is fine; we’re not picky, right?”

“Yeah, okay,” Eli said, typing out a message. “She’s flirting with you.”

“She’s my wife; of course she’s flirting with me.”Elliot kept his eyes on the road, but a smile came to his face.“But, uh, what’d she say, though?”

“She asked what you wanted for dessert,” Eli said nonchalantly.

Elliot scoffed at his son’s ridiculous implication.“Eli, that’s not flirting.”

“Yeah, it is,” Eli retorted, pointing to the text in question.

“How do you know?” Elliot asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

“She wrote: ‘and what about dessert, question mark, winking emoji.’That’s flirting.”Eli sat back in his seat, crossing his arms.

A look of confusion crossed Elliot’s face.“Winking em-what-ie?”

Eli sighed, shaking his head.His father was truly hopeless.“The—the faces, dad.That go in texts.”

Elliot pulled into the driveway.“Give me that, please?”

“Alright, here.”Eli handed over the phone and hopped out of the car, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

Elliot typed out another text in reply as he and Eli walked into the house.“Eli, these little... hieroglyphics... are these on my phone, too?”

“There’s the smiley face in the corner by the keyboard,” Eli called as he headed up the stairs.

Elliot nodded, attempting to decode whatever Kathy was texting him.Most messages were easy enough—the one with hearts for eyes meant love; same with the little pink hearts. At a certain point, Elliot found the message indecipherable and walked to the stairs.“Eli!” he called, “I need your help again.”

The thirteen year old appeared at the top of the stairs.“What’d you do, lock yourself out?”

“No, I—your mom is talking about dinner again, I think?” Elliot frowned, looking back to his phone.“We were just texting like normal, but she texted asking about... eggplants?”

Eli looked horrified.“Oh, dad—no, gross; don’t tell me that.Ugh!”

Elliot called after his son, still in the dark about the text’s true meaning.“Are—are eggplants bad, Eli?”

“It’s not about vegetables, dad!”The resounding slam of Eli’s door seemed to shake the house, and Elliot glanced back at the screen in a new light.

“Oh.”


End file.
